25 Ways To Practice Self Care During Grief
Self-care can be difficult to keep up with during tough times. Even though you know it’s important, it can be hard to do when you’re overstressed, overworked, and overtired. However, this is why you need self-care most.
Self-care can make a big difference, but be the toughest to keep up with, when you’re grieving. It’s important to look at self-care in as realistic a way as possible, choosing activities that you can actually do. Try some of these coping strategies when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one.
Photo by Jasmin Chew on Unsplash
Take a walk.
Exercise releases endorphins, which help you to cope with stress and anxiety. When you’re grieving, it may be hard to motivate yourself to do proper exercise, but a walk is generally achievable. A hike, a nature walk, or just a stroll around the neighborhood can help. The exercise will do you good and help you to clear your head.
Take a nap.
Grief makes you feel tired, but a short nap of twenty to thirty minutes can help to improve your mood, alertness, and performance. If you can, take a short nap to boost your ability to cope. Try not to nap for too long though, as you may struggle to sleep at night if you disrupt your sleep pattern too much.
Smile.
Even if you don’t feel much like smiling, faking a smile can make you feel much happier. Give it a try.
Keep your loved one with you.
When you’ve lost someone close to you, it can be comforting to feel as though they’re with you. Perhaps you could display some photographs of you together, or wear something that belonged to them. Memorials.com has a range of keepsake jewelry and other items that could help you to feel closer to the person that you’re missing.
Read.
A study in 2009 revealed that reading helps you to relax in just six minutes. When you’re grieving, you’re probably best to avoid anything too heavy or too sad. Instead, choose something light, or perhaps reread an old favorite. A spiritual or self-care book might also help.
Get a few minutes or fresh air and sunlight.
When you feel sad, it can be hard to motivate yourself to go out, but being out in the fresh air can help to clear your head. Sunlight is also a mood booster. Go for a walk, or sit in your garden for a few minutes.
Have a good cry.
Bottling up your feelings doesn’t help, so let it out. A good cry can help your body to release some of the built-up cortisol (the stress hormone) raising chemicals. Find somewhere quiet and let yourself really cry.
Engage in an activity that requires focus.
A game or other activity that needs you to focus a little can really help you to relax when you feel at your worst. Try a craft project, a puzzle, or a crossword. Choose something that you need to focus on, but something so difficult that it makes you feel more stressed out.
Practice patience.
Grief is strange and rarely linear. It can be easy to lose patience with yourself if you feel like you aren’t recovering fast enough or have made a step backward in the grieving process. Be patient. It’s a cliche, but time is a healer.
Practice forgiveness.
Grief can be made even more complicated if you have some anger towards the person you have lost. If you’re carrying unresolved anger, take some time to practice forgiveness, so you can let it go and grieve in a way that is more helpful to you.
Practice gratitude.
It can be helpful when you’re grieving to shift your focus to thinking about your happy memories and time together and being grateful for those memories. You are allowed to feel sad, but it can be more helpful to you to also let yourself be grateful. Be grateful that you have those memories and let yourself talk about the person you lost.
Plan a night out with friends.
Being surrounded by people you love and love you can help to take your mind off your grief. Go for dinner, see a show, or got to a sporting event. Being around others will really help you, so try not to wallow alone in your grief.
Establish a better work/life balance.
When you’re grieving, it can be easy to throw yourself into work in order to distract yourself. This isn’t a good idea, as you’ll only get more tired and more stressed. A better work/life balance is important to maintain. Keep up the boundaries between your work and personal life.
Listen to your favorite playlist.
Music can have a real positive impact on both your physical and emotional health. Did you know that music can reduce the perceived intensity of pain and the symptoms of depression? Make a playlist of all your favorite songs that make you feel uplifted and listen to them whenever you feel low.
Go somewhere that makes you feel at ease.
We all have places we love that make us feel relaxed and safe just by being there. It might be your garden, a favorite coffee shop, or the local library. Wherever it is, go there when you need to feel some peace.
Spring clean.
Keeping on top of the household chores is not always easy when you’re grieving. If you’re struggling to stay on top of things, it can make you feel worse. Have a Spring clean to get your home back to a place that you can relax in. Spend time sorting out your things and see if there’s anything that you could donate or sell to give you more space. A tidy home is more restful for the mind, so try and stay on top of it after your spring clean.
Take stock of your support system.
Don’t try and manage your grief alone. A support network is very important. Who can you count on during this hard time? It could be friends, family, or other people who are also grieving the same person. Turn to your support network to talk about the person you have lost, to talk about how you feel, and also to be distracted from your feelings.
Look through old photographs.
When you feel ready to, go through all your photographs of the person you have lost. This process can be both sad and healing and can help with the earlier tip of having a good cry. Choose some favorites to display around your home so you have those pictures to remember your loved one by.
Treat yourself to a day of relaxation.
Grief can be oddly stressful, so it’s important to include some relaxation time in your self-care. Book a day at the spa, or go for a massage. If you’re not a spa fan, relax at home with some pampering. Run yourself a bubble bath, ask your spouse for a backrub, or make yourself a foot soak. Whatever makes you feel more relaxed.
Try a new hobby.
A new activity like scrapbooking, baking, or knitting gives your mind something else to focus on. Journaling can be helpful too and can be used to get your feelings out on paper if you’re having trouble expressing them to others.
Cut back on your alcohol intake.
When you feel sad, it can be tempting to try and cheer yourself up with a drink. Alcohol is a depressant, so that glass of wine could just make you feel worse. Alcohol also causes you to have more restless sleep, which is the last thing you need when you’re already tired from grieving. Try to cut back on the amount you drink.
Join a support group.
There are lots of support groups out there for those struggling to cope with grief. You could join an in-person group, or find an online group. There are groups for general grief, and more specific groups for those who have lost a child, a parent, or a spouse. A support group helps as you can speak to people experiencing the same thing that you are and who understand the way you feel.
Find a quiet place where you can be alone with your thoughts.
A lot of the self-care around grief focuses on things that you can do to take your mind off how you feel, but sometimes, it is important to be alone with your thoughts. Find somewhere quiet where you can do this without interruption.
See a counselor or a therapist.
If you’re really struggling to cope, it can be very helpful to see a therapist. A counselor or therapist can help you to learn some different coping strategies to better manage your grief. Look for a counselor who specializes in grief.
Take a yoga class.
Yoga is a very relaxing activity and focuses on being in touch with your breath. It can be a very useful way to manage stress. Go to a class, or follow a yoga session online.
Grief will never be enjoyable, or easy. But when you’re taking care of yourself through tough times, life just seems a little bit easier to navigate.