The twos have hit. With that comes major sass, a urge for independence and some serious trips, falls and random ground hugs.

I’ve made it my priority as a parent to do things a little differently than the way I was raised and what I’ve seen around me. One of the things that irks me is when children fall and parents tell their kids they’re ok. If you were to hurt yourself, would you want someone to tell you you’re fine instead of offering support or ASKING if you’re ok? Probably not.

I don’t go sprinting to her every time she falls. It’s actually quite the opposite. I sit there and let her process what just happened before I intervene at all.

Here’s what I say to my girl when we have some ground hugs.

Are you ok?

Sounds simple but this one is so overlooked. Now that she’s old enough to understand certain sensations and has more awareness of her body, I just ask if she is okay. Most of the time she will smile, stand up and keep toddling around.

Are you hurt or scared?

Again, she’s more aware of her body and needs now. She can differentiate between fear and pain, most of the time. Even as an adult falls can be scary and tears will come just based off that alone. If she knows what she is feeling, then I know the best type of support to offer.

That was scary, huh?

If I know the fall was more fear based than pain, I’ll lean into the fear. Offering a word to describe the emotion that comes up. This then gives her a way to describe the feeling in the future and gives her more emotional intelligence, even as a 2 year old.

Do you need a hug?

Sometimes, fear or pain, she just needs comfort. I’ll offer a hug to try and give her support in that way. Sometimes she takes it, sometimes she just wants to continue on her way. But offering a hug at least lets her know that I am here to love on her if she needs it!