Self-sabotage is such a crappy thing that we do! It comes in so many forms and can make an appearance in pretty much all aspects of our lives.
Why do we sabotage ourselves?
The answer to this varies from person to person. I think the most common reason we sabotage ourselves is because we do not feel worthy of the good feelings that come from being happy. For some reason our brains are programmed to believe that we do not deserve to feel good. This doesn't mean that we are hesitant to feel good in every aspect of our lives. But it is definitely more noticeable in some parts.
Another reason we tend to sabotage ourselves is us not feeling like our top needs are met. Sometimes if we feel like we aren't getting what we need from life, we sabotage ourselves by making our situation worse.
For example, maybe you're in a relationship and something went a little wrong. You choose to move on and forgive. Your brain, however, has a different plan! It obsesses over what went wrong and brings up all kinds of questions or concerns that you never even thought of before. This is your brains way of sabotaging your happiness. You're now feeling like in this moment you are not deserving of this good feeling for whatever reason. Your needs from this relationship are not being met so you're subconsciously making the situation worse.
How do we stop the sabotage?
This answer is going to suck....the key to stop the self-sabotage cycle all stems from self care. The cure starts from within and works it's way out from there. If you love yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, your self-sabotaging days will slowly start to dissipate.
I say this answer sucks because a lot of people look for a quick fix when it comes to improving their lives. Unfortunately this just isn't possible. With problems like these, the cure needs to come from a deep rooted place. Loving yourself is the most powerful cure.
How does loving yourself change the sabotage cycle? Well when you love yourself and have faith in yourself, you're more aware that you can make it through anything. You'll understand more deeply how strong and incredible you are.
Turning self-sabotage into self-love is not an easy task. It takes time, commitment and a whole lot of patience. But once you get there and start your journey, you're going to feel so much better about life as a whole.
Luckily, self-love is a journey so there is no rush to be the master of it. It's a process that can move forward at any speed you would like it to. Everyone's journey will look and feel different.
If you're feeling lost about how to get this journey going, don't worry. I'm gonna jump start the process by sharing some of my favorite self-love tricks below.
How to love the crap out of yourself
Loving yourself isn't as easy as we think it is. Most of us are actually quite mean to ourselves! But it's important to get along with yourself and set yourself up for a positive, impactful future.
Since self-love is the key to escaping self-sabotage, we need to understand how exactly we do that.
For starters, it's important to be patient with yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will your confidence be! Take your time and enjoy the journey.
Talk kindly to yourself. You are the one person you're stuck with for the rest of your life, so why are you going to bully yourself? Talk to yourself like you would talk to your mom or your best friend. Tread lightly while being honest with yourself. Don't use negative language and harsh words.
Breath deeply. Seems silly, but deep breathes are an awesome cure for a lot of anxiety. When you can sense some self-sabotage in the works, breath it out!
Acknowledge the sabotage and own it. Learning to recognize when you're falling into your self-sabotaging ways is crucial. If you're aware of the issue, you're more likely to be able to take the necessary steps to kick those thoughts to the curb.
Learn from yourself. You are such an interesting human being! Take this journey as a time to learn all that there is to know about yourself. Figure out why you do the things you do and why you feel the way you feel.
Now that you have some tools to get your journey started, let's start it! It's time to end the self-sabotage cycle and get your butt in gear.
How do you plan to end the cycle? Please share your tips below! This is all about community and helping each other grow.
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