Developing Emotional Intelligence To Take Back Control of Your Emotions
Understanding your emotions is never an easy task. Most of the time when emotions come, we just ride them out like a wave.
But have you ever tried to discover why you're feeling the way that you are? What is causing you to feel these emotions?
Obviously when we're happy, we take it for what it is and just accept that we're in a really good mood. But what about when you're sad? Or mad? If you try to get to the root of what is creating this unsettling feeling, you might be able to have less intense of an emotional reaction the next time around.
Getting to the root of the problem.
Sadness and anger are the two emotions that I want to mainly focus on. Mostly because these are by far two of the most unsettling feelings you can experience. Surprisingly, these two are more similar than we may think. They both stem from another very important feeling - fear.
Fear is the driving force behind most unideal emotions. For example if you're going through a break up, the amount of emotion that goes rushing through you is more than likely stemming from fear. You're afraid to lose this person. You're afraid of being alone. You're afraid of this new life you're going to have to create without this person. This makes you sad, angry and filled with anxiety.
Once you discover the root of the problem, it makes it easier to start the healing process. Learning about yourself and how you handle situations also makes it easier to deal with things that may come up in the future.
In the example that I used above, knowing what you're afraid of may allow you to ask yourself questions that you need the answers to in order to move on. If you know that you're afraid of ending up alone, you can remind yourself how many people there are in the world. When the time is right, the right person will walk into your life.
Being in the middle of these dark emotions, there may seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But if you have the mental tools you need, you'll always be able to find that light.
When you're in these dark times, try taking a step back and really analyzing the situation. Why is this feeling so powerful? What is this stemming from? Like I have said before, once you understand why you're feeling this way it is easier to cope with the feelings.
The negative feelings come for a reason. Fear, insecurity or lack of self-love.
Another key component to kicking butt through these unideal emotions is an obvious answer - self love.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - loving yourself is the key to happiness!
If you love yourself, negativity won't have such a powerful affect on you. You'll feel more comfortable in yourself and your strength when you spend a little time building up some self-love. You are an awesome person and are doing the best you can in life - so don't be so hard on yourself.
Let these emotions come and go, but really root down and figure out what they're stemming from in the first place. I promise you, your life will improve so much when you discover why you're feeling these intense emotions.
When you're dealing with crappy situations, some times all you need is a little self love and appreciation. This can come in a variety of ways, but try some of these tips and tricks that have helped me:
Take a walk / do some yoga - Cliché, but some of my most profound "a-ha" moments have come from really basic exercise.
Spend some money on yourself - This one sounds pretty counter productive. But sometimes it feels really good to spend your hard earned money on yourself. Make sure the bills are paid first (obviously). But pamper yourself! Get your hair done or go get a massage!
Meditate - I've been really loving this method of self love more and more. It's so nice to just take a moment for yourself. Meditation leads to amazing mental clarity. It can also help you get to the root of some of the emotions that you've been feeling overwhelmed by!
Clean - This sounds kinda weird, but a clean house really does lead to a clear mind. Less clutter in your surroundings gives you the opportunity to not be so focused on the chaos around you.