I think it's pretty self-explanatory to say that no one enjoys being judged. Most of us find it rather intimidating or aggravating. Like judgement prevents us from being our true selves. Well how do you move on from that? Are you just supposed to live the rest of your life based around the fears and doubts that form from the opinions of others?
If you're expecting me to tell you to just suck it up and that it's a part of life - you're in the wrong place.
I've been surrounded by judgement my entire life, like many of you have! It follows me and haunts me like a ghost. I've made a good chunk of my big life decisions based on the fear of what others would think or say. I've let the opinions of others affect the way that I live my life.
How sad is that?
If there is one thing that you need to know about judgement, it is that it stems from insecurity. A person who is completely secure with their being will not judge. Unfortunately, finding someone who is completely secure in themselves is more rare than finding that old pig that's flying in everyone's analogies.
We all have insecurities. It's how we handle them that is meaningful. Because we all have these insecurities, we all can relate to making a judgment about someone else's life or decisions. It's somewhat normal.
Understanding that someone's judgement about you is stemming from their own insecurities can really help ease the harshness of the blow. You cannot control the way people perceive you. And frankly, it's none of your business what others think of you. All that truly matters is how you view yourself and how satisfied you are with the choices that you have made. How cliché, right?
Judgement is the ego taking control of your brain.
Now that you've got an understanding of where judgement is stemming from, let's talk a little bit about the effect it can have on your emotions.
When you let the judgement of others evoke fear within you, you're preventing yourself from living your full potential. You're allowing the progression you have to be slowed because you don't want to face the negativity that someone else may spew at you.
Sometimes, we won't do things because we're afraid of the judgement that might come with those things. This is no easier. You're not even sure that you will receive judgement in the first place. Ego is taking control and putting doubt in your own brain, which leads to you not living your full potential again.
For a long time, I didn't tell anyone about this blog. I didn't even want to sign up for life coaching class! Because I was too afraid of the judgement that I would receive if I came out and admitted that I was this person. No one knew this side of me. The whole thing was one big secret!
Now that I have talked more openly about my projects and shared what I am doing with those around me, I've hardly received any judgement. I definitely have received a few weird looks and concerned remarks, but it was no where near what I was expecting.
Moral of the story, I know that I am on the right path and I no longer care to hear the doubt and negativity that comes from others about it.
If you're on the giving side of judgement -
Think about how you feel when you receive judgement from those around you. It sucks doesn't it? Well, why would you put someone you love through that?
Like I said before, it's kinda normal to judge people that are doing things in a way that you don't necessarily agree with. But when it comes down to it, maybe try keeping your un positive thoughts to yourself. You don't want to be the one to kill someone else's thunder - especially if they're super excited about something that they're doing.
Bottom line -
Understanding where judgement is stemming from is crucial in handling it. If you feel like you can't escape the judgement of those around you, just know that the thoughts of that person are coming from a fear-based, ego-controlled place. Don't take it so personally.
You're doing things in a way that they would not do for themselves - and that is okay!
You should never be ashamed of new ventures or big moves. If you're not affecting anyone besides yourself, then it's no ones business what you're up to!
Things I'm loving at the moment.
My Kindle has been a hot commodity lately! I've found a sweet spot in my schedule to get some good reading done. While I'm waiting for yoga to start, I've been sitting in lotus pose with this thing directly in my lap. It's oddly a good conversation starter too. Lots of people are interested in what I've been reading!
This book has been one of my favorites for a while. I've recently painted the four agreements on little wood slabs and hung them in my bathroom so that I can always remember them. This book also will teach you some ways to deal with judgement!
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