As some of you may know I went through a pretty bad bout of anxiety and depression. I’ve always been a naturally anxious person, but this anxiety took it to a whole new level.
For those of you who are new here, I’ll give you a quick run down but you can find more details in this post here.
Basically, I started experiencing really bad brain fog. That led to depression and then severe anxiety. So bad that I had to be put on a medical leave from work. I didn’t feel comfortable driving. Was terrified just to walk out of my own front door. I was living my life through a completely different lens than what I was used to. Turns out the brain fog was actually a symptom of depersonalization and derealization - basically, you are not connected to your body or your reality. You feel completely disconnected and like you are in some kind of sick dream that you can’t get out of. It’s really freakin’ scary!
I went through countless antidepressants and anti anxiety medications which made the depersonalization worse because I’m the kind of person that won’t even take Tylenol when I have a headache. I was becoming more and more distant from my own body. The medications helped a bit but weren’t doing what I was needing them to. Talk therapy helped a bit but wasn't something that I was super connected to.
Throughout this chaos I connected with a spiritual guide that I love so freakin’ much. This woman that I connected with helped me find hope and light in every way that I was needing. Here’s what I learned along my journey.
I’ve always dabbled in studying the 7 chakras that create the core of our existence. I knew some things about each one but was never able to relate them to my life in the way that I did during this journey.
Like I mentioned above, the anxiety I was experiencing was out of this world. I felt so out of my body and like I wasn’t even a person anymore. I just felt like a body moving through the motions of life.
When I connected with my guide, she immediately suggested a root chakra imbalance. At first I was confused, but the more she explained the more this all made sense.
When your root chakra is out of whack, you don’t feel grounded. You feel airy and unconnected. Your root is that deep red, grounding force that keeps you aligned with yourself. It’s like a tree that has been de-rooted but is still expecting to grow and survive. It’s just not possible.
My root chakra was completely disconnecting me from any feeling of security. No wonder I felt like I was floating through life all of the damn time. I know this sounds a little woo-woo to some of you, but you chose to come into this blog post! Ha ha.
Rerouting my root chakra.
Getting my root chakra back in alignment didn’t solve all of my problems. I still had other internal work that I needed to focus on. BUT it did give me a whole new sense of security and grounding that I 1000% needed in order to continue on my journey.
Over the course of 3 months I did some seriously intensive root work. It was the first thing I thought about every morning and the last thing I thought about before I went to bed. I rearranged my whole routine just to make time for this sacred work.
Every morning I lit a deep red root chakra candle. I just happened to walk into a store in the middle of this journey and see a root chakra candle staring back at me. But if you’re in need of some root work, any dark red candle will do the same thing! Don’t get held up on little things like that - there is a bigger picture we’re working on.
Once my candle was lit, I did a root meditation. I sat cross legged on my meditation floor pillow, stretched my spine tall, lifted my head slightly and turned on my root chakra meditation. My hands would be placed face down on my knees.
Fun fact : face down hands during a meditation is a grounding gesture. Face up hands means you’re open to receiving.
Once my meditation was over, I’d head to my journal and start doing my morning journal routine. 10 things I’m grateful for and 10 things that I love about myself. Then I’d go about my day being as mindful as possible about staying grounded and connected to who I am and where I am. Doing my best to stay as present as possible.
During this time, I got into “gardening”. I put that term in quotations because I bought about 5 houseplants and a few to put outside my front door. This was perfect for me because I was able to get outside and get my hands in some soil. Nothing is more grounding than literally sticking your hands into earth. I’d sit outside barefoot, happily getting my plants primed and ready.
I started going for short 20 minute walks in order to give myself fresh air daily and get outside even more. Walking helped me so much while dealing with this bout of anxiety. At first it made me feel worse because my heart rate was elevated, but once I got past that it was a literal life saver.
The last thing I would do every night was my night time journal routine. I would focus on all of the negative, airy thoughts that crossed my mind during the day then give them a truthful, positive, more realistic view. This dramatically shifted my mindset and gave me more hope for positivity.
The things I talked about above are things that I did on a daily basis to get my root chakra back in check. Some other things that I focused on was acknowledging something deep red everyday. Eventually I ended up wearing a garnet bead bracelet every single day and refusing to take it off!
Sitting in my room with sage and tarot cards was also something that kept me grounded and remaining on the right path.
When I was realigning this chakra, I felt powerful movement when I took the time to be intentional with my actions. Over time I definitely felt a shift and can happily say that I feel more grounded than I ever have.