At some point in our lives, we have all asked permission. "Can I have a cookie?" "You think I should do this instead, right?"
When we become adults, we ask permission for things a lot less. But sometimes, we seek permission and approval from those around us in an unhealthy way.
I want to make something clear before we go any deeper into this post.
I'm talking to the adults that feel like they can't make a move without seeking approval from everyone around them first because they would doubt themselves too heavily otherwise. I'm talking to the adults that have never been able to fully back a decision and end up chickening out because they didn't trust themselves and their intuition enough.
I am all for giving and receiving advice. Advice is a beautiful thing and a very strong way for people to connect on deep levels. But there needs to be a line between advice and living your life for those around you because your ego won't let you live otherwise.
Growing up I was very dependent on my mother. She was (and still is) my best friend, my everything. When I started to grow into a young adult, the codependence I felt was becoming stronger and stronger. I felt as though I needed to go to her with every decision that was above a 4 on the big decisions scale.
It changed from asking for advice to seeking permission when I started immediately taking her advice instead of still trusting my intuition. It became harder to think for myself because taking her advice was so much easier. It saved me the trouble of fighting with myself internally any longer over any issue.
This has nothing to do with my mom, she's an incredible woman! This was my own ego and intuition duking it out and my ego taking the crown 99% of the time.
The problem in this was that I stopped living my life for me and started living my life based off of the permission that my mom was or was not giving me. I took her word as law and went with it! I no longer had to ask myself for permission or live uncomfortably, because the word was being handed to me.
The older I got, the more I questioned this.
I'm a strong, independent woman now. I don't need to do things just because my mom or my family or my friends think a certain way. I know what is best for me. And if a decision goes wrong, then I'm going to learn from it and know what to do (or not do) next time.
I started living my life for me and making decisions without fear of judgement from myself or those around me. Was it hard? Hell yea! I still get stuck in the fear that I'm going to disappoint people or make others uncomfortable with the life that I'm living. But you only get to live on this earth one time, so why not live it the way you want to? You wouldn't tell someone else how to live, so don't seek permission on how to live your life.
5 reasons you need to stop asking permission -
- You know what feels right. Your instinct is obviously speaking to you in some way. Trust your gut and don't let the approval of others dictate how you live your life. You won't get to live the life you're dreaming of if you let others decide what is right and wrong for you.
- Your life is meant to be your own. If you were meant to live someone else's life, then you would be in their body. Live your life in your body. This life was given to you, so do not seek permission from others. You will be living their life if every move you make is dictated by those around you. This life is yours.
- Your journey could be getting delayed. Your life is on it's own clock. It knows when the time is right. The universe is constantly working with you to decide when things are meant to happen. If you are seeking permission for your decisions and getting stuck in limbo, you could be putting an unnatural force against the clock the universe has your dreams working on.
- You are stunting your happiness. When you are constantly needing approval and permission from others, you're doing what makes them happy. What about what makes you happy? This is your life. You are meant to be doing what makes you happy - what puts a smile on your face. If something will make you happy, do it! Don't question it or seek permission.
Independence is important. While it's always nice to have supportive people around you, it is also important to be able to make decisions for yourself. It's not healthy to rely too heavily on others or be codependent. It's good to make decisions for yourself and feel confident in your choices.
The next time you're faced with a decision that is seeming too big or that will make others around you unhappy, think about what is best for you and trust your gut. You do what you need to do to keep yourself happy and on the right track.
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